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THANK YOU! Your support has helped us complete our first scholarship endowment.
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The Grind for iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad on the iTunes App Store
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Learn more, read reviews, and download Eye of the Cat : Tiger Football 2011, The Grind by Bryan Follins
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Football: More Bowl Madness--Bowling in 2011
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More Bowl Madness--Bowling in 2011
by Bryan Follins
Mediocrity continues to ruin the NCAA major college bowl picture, as 6-6 teams continue to go Bowling. However, more maddening is this year a 6-7 team was invited to play in a Bowl.
On Dec 31st, at 3:30 PM Eastern Time, Illinois (6-6), will face UCLA(6-7) in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl in San Francisco. Instead of fans paying to see that game, Bowl officials will probably have to pay fans to see the game.
How does a 6-7 team get into a Bowl? How does a 6-7 team which fires its head coach get into a bowl? If the school has fired its head football coach, who will coach the team in the game? Who will want to watch a 6-7 team? Who, on the 6-7 team even wants to play in the game? To make matters worse, anyone who has lived in the Bay Area knows how schizophrenic the weather can get up there this time of year. The day of the game can be bright and sunny, or it can be a day which makes Transylvania look like Miami Beach. Who wants to take a gamble going to a game like that?
It is a mad mad world.
Why should the lunacy stop there? Our crack staff has made a pitch for yet more Bowls. They are as follows:
The 0-12 Bowl--Sponsors, date, place, and teams of the game to be determined. This Bowl is for the two worst football teams in major college football. The BCS should be forced to choose the teams.
The Crackpot (or Crack Pipe) Lunacy Bowl--Sponsors and teams to be determined. The contest will be played on Dec 30th, at night in Bozeman, Montana. There used to be a time when all Bowl games were played in Southern and Western cities, where the weather would be decent. Not any more. Bowls are now being played, outdoors in December, in areas like Idaho, Washington D.C., and New York City. So why not give Bozeman a crack, if you will pardon the pun. The reward for the winners will be the world's biggest crack pipe, or the world's biggest stash of synthetic marijuana. Or, better yet, just pass out the stuff to everyone in the stadium before the game, because it can get real brisk in Bozeman on a December night.
Police Blotter Bowl-Penn State vs. Penn State. Enough said.
Disintegrating Conferences Bowl--Sponsors, place, and time to be determined. Teams from the crumbling, and crummy Big Twelve, Mountain West, and Big East conferences will be chosen for this Bowl.
Is not it amazing how so many Bowls can proliferate on a major college level, yet nobody can come up with a sane solution to determine a national champion at the major college level?
Of course we ALL know the real reason for these Bowl games. M-O-N-E-Y. Check out the payouts at the links below:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Rose_Bowl
blogs.orlandosentinel.com/sports_college/2011/11/bowl-payouts-projected-around-281-million.html
Imagine going to sunny Southern California to play in the Rose Bowl for a 21.8 million dollar payout. Who cares about winning, especially a Big Ten school. Laying out on a Southern California beach for 10 days beats digging from under two feet of snow in Wisconsin, Michigan or wherever. The winner and loser takes the money and runs, or limps home.
It's a mad, mad world.
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THE NGOC Doctrine
By Bryan Follins
Due to the severe disgust and angst building about the lack of LSU night football games, we thought it may be a good idea to create a new football conference. It would be called “The Night Games Only Conference” (NGOC). Schools in this conference will play football games only on Saturday nights. LSU should initiate this project by breaking away from the SEC, and CBS, while they are at it. Everybody else is breaking away from one conference or another these days, why not LSU?
Prerequisites for prospective conference members (including LSU): - Games WILL ALWAYS be played on a SATURDAY NIGHT! This rule should be made a federal, state, and local law. If possible it should be inserted in ALL BOOKS of worship. An additional amendment to the U.S. Constitution should be created. Any conference member or athletic official which breaks this rule should be put out in a buoy in the Caribbean, at the HEIGHT OF HURRICANE SEASON.
- The location of the school does not matter, just so long as the games are played at night. If a team does not like playing at night, they may be convinced to do so out of sheer greed.
- THE NGOC should have as many networks as possible: TNT, TBS, Lifetime, the SciFi Channel, HSN, QVC, WGN, HBO, Showtime, SpikeTV, TVLand, the Weather Channel, AMCTV, and ION TV for starters. All games will be broadcast simultaneously over each network. Broadcasters are optional. Instant replay, halftime highlights, and a scoreboard show are mandatory.
- In the NGOC the, NCAA and BCS are obsolete. Theyareobsoletetheyareobsoletetheyareobsoletetheyareobsolete.
Prospective teams:
Brigham Young—Each conference should have a team everyone else utterly despises. So, BYU, TAG YOU’RE IT!! LOLOL. Note: Only the BYU football team should be allowed in the NGOC. All other BYU sports teams should be banned. BYU has this nasty habit of not participating in any sports activities on Sundays, i.e. basketball, track and field, baseball, golf, tennis, etc. This can cause havoc with other teams in the conference, not to mention the loss of possible revenues.
Tulane—Every conference should have a conference patsy. So Tulane, TAG YOU ARE IT!! Note: Tulane should be let in on one condition, that they play LSU once every 67 years.
Florida-They seem to like night games.
Kansas City Chiefs—with apologies to ex-LSU players on the team
University of Texas—Hereafter known as “Greedy Texas.” It should be noted that Greedy Texas has great football tradition. But Greedy Texas also has another tradition, just being plain greedy. The problem here is that Greedy Texas wants the lion’s share of their conferences’ profits. This may explain why the old Southwest Conference (where they played), and the Big 12 (where are they playing), has either crumbled or is crumbling. Maybe Greedy Texas can convince everybody else to be greedy, and that would solve the whole problem.
Navy—Every conference needs a strong Navy.
Notre Dame—Another team everybody hates, but they do have NBC, which would give other conference members even more exposure, while kicking ND’s butts at the same time. Can you imagine a yearly BYU-Notre Dame game? It would be like one of those Ultimate Cage Fighting contests. People would pay to see that.
The NCOG is still excepting member applications.
Copyright 2011 Bryan Follins. Republication of this doctrine for a profit is prohibited. Any violators will be ridiculed, flogged and chased around the field by Mike the Tiger, at halftime, during a SATURDAY NIGHT GAME, at Tiger Stadium.
P.S. The conference championship will always be played ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!!
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Football: The Grind: Tiger Football 2011 by Bryan Follins
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Once again,
the Tiger football campaign is upon us. Once again the SEC, especially the SEC
West, will be tough. There are no soft touches. What will the 2011 Purple and
Gold outfit look like this season? We will get a good look on the first
Saturday in September, when the Tigers meet the Oregon Ducks.
Note: At the time of this writing,
there were several LSU players on suspension due to pending legal and
eligibility issues.
Two of these
players are quarterback Jordan Jefferson,
and all purpose running back Russell
Shepard. There is no timetable for
their return.
Jefferson, a
senior, has had good times and bad times as the Tiger quarterback. With his
loss, LSU loses mobility at that position.
The only
other quarterback with any game experience is senior Jarrett Lee.
Shepard, a
junior, was the fourth leading rusher and third leading receiver on the team a
year ago.
There is no Stevan Ridley at running back this
year. Ridley, a Les Miles favorite, left school after his junior season. In
2010, Ridley rushed for 1,147 yards. He was the leading rusher on the team.
The Purple
and Gold do have good running backs, but they are all sophomores. They are Alfred Blue, Spencer Ware, and Michael
Ford. The most carries Blue had in a ballgame last year was six. Ford’s
high for carries in one game was nine, and Ware was five.
Miles, who
likes to defer to upper classmen, and who likes a solid running game, will have
to trust these players.
Junior Rueben Randle was the second leading
receiver on the team in 2010 with 544 yards. He had three touchdowns.
The
offensive lines returns T-Bob Hebert, Chris Faulk, Josh Dworaczyk, P.J.
Lonegran, Alex Hurst, and Will Blackwell. These players have logged
considerable starting time and they will have to be the anchor of the offense.
Deangelo Peterson and Chase Clement return at the tight end position.
Defensively,
the Purple and Gold will be young, but experienced. Ryan Baker is one of the few seniors on the defensive unit. Baker
was the team’s second leading tackler in 2011, and has a penchant for making
big plays. He started all but one game last year.
The Tigers
are loaded in the defensive secondary. Cornerback Tyrann Mathieu was the fourth leading tackler on the team last year.
He is only 5’9, but that is deceiving. He is a punishing, nasty football
player. Safety Craig Loston is solid. The Tigers have other defensive backs like Morris Claiborne, Brandon Taylor, Ron
Brooks, and Eric Reed who saw significant action last season.
They cannot
replace All-American Patrick Peterson,
but they can play.
The Purple
and Gold played many defensive linemen last year: Chancey Aghayre, Lavar Edwards, and Sam Montgomery saw good action
at the defensive ends spots last season. Montgomery played well before
suffering a leg injury that caused him to miss the last part of the season.
Perhaps the
biggest lost for LSU is Kelvin Sheppard,
who led the team in tackles. Besides his
outstanding play at linebacker, Sheppard was an exceptional leader, something
that LSU had not had for a couple of years, and what they seem to be already
lacking this season.
Punter and
placekicker Josh Jasper will also be missed.
With Steve
Kragthorpe relinquishing his duties as offensive coordinator due to illness, and
Greg Studrawa being named as the new offensive coordinator, one has to wonder
what the offense will look like.
We will find
out on the first Saturday in September.
Source: http://www.lsusports.net/src/data/lsu/assets/docs/fb/10stats/indgbg.htm?DB_OEM_ID=5200
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Twelve Days of Christmas--SEC Style
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Anonymous writes "reprinted from 2007
Twelve Days of Christmas SEC Style
by Bryan Follins
Here goes sports fans:
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two rusty Rebels and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight raunchy Vols, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine Tides a losing, eight raunchy Vols, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten neutered Bulldogs, nine Tides a losing, eight raunchy Vols, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven Gator po-boys, 10 neutered Bulldogs, nine Tides a losing, eight raunchy Vols, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
On the twelfth of Christmas my true love gave to me, TWELVE TIGERS ROARING, eleven Gator po-boys, 10 neutered Bulldogs, nine Tides a losing, eight raunchy Vols, seven toothless Wildcats, six losing Plainsmen, five skinned Gamecocks, four Hogs a squealing, three smelly Bulldogs, two rusty Rebels, and a Commodore in a pear tree.
Ho Ho Ho to all the folks in Tigerland (and to all you other SEC critters that go bump in the night. LOLOLOL) For EVERYBODY who is celebrating the Holiday Season please be safe. If you do not celebrate the Holiday Season, please be safe. Out.
Copyright 2007, Bryan Follins "
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